Official Chicago Cubs Thread

[LordLeoshes]

White Sox Jokes
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Sox fans too. Not really knowing what a Sox fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Sox fan."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

"Why I'm proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Cubs fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Cubs fans, and I'm a Cubs fan too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Sox fan."


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A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.

The man smiled. When the Evil One asked why the man was smiling he said: "Just like Chicago in Spring"

So the Most Evil One cranked up the heat and humidity more. The man removed his coat, smiled, and said:

"Just like Chicago in Summer"

This time the Destroyer of Beauty cranked the heat and humidity to maximum.

The man removed his shirt and tie and said

"Just like Chicago in August"

The Devil then got an idea. He shut off the heat and turned on the air conditioning. The room froze in seconds. Ice was everywhere. Polar bears hid in dens because it was so cold. Satan, confident he had finally won, peaked in the man's room only to find the man cheering and partying frantically....

"The Cubs won the World Series...The Cubs won the World Series..."


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Going to Chicago
There was this blonde who bought a coach ticket to go to Chicago. She boards the plane and sits in the first class area. The flight attendant approaches her and says "Excuse miss, your ticket says coach so you'll have to move to the coach area."

The blonde explains, "I'm blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to Chicago."

The flight attendant leaves and explains the situation to the head flight attendant. A few minutes later, the head flight attendant approaches her and says "Excuse miss, your ticket says coach so you'll have to move to the coach area."

The blonde explains, "I'm blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to Chicago."

The flight attendants look at each other in amazement and decide to get assistance from the captain. A few minutes later, the head flight attendant approaches her and says "Excuse miss, your ticket says coach so you'll have to move to the coach area."

The blonde explains, "I'm blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to Chicago."

The captain shakes his head, then bends down and whispers in the blonde's ear. A moment later, she gets up from her seat suddenly, grabs her luggage, and rushes over to the coach area.

One of the flight attendants asks the captain, "What on Earth did you say to her?"

The captain explains, "I told her first class wasn't going to Chicago."

  JK no disrespect meant by it, just stupid jokes.

[Mild Sauce]

Lol, loved all of them!

[Mild Sauce]

Baseball getting started again. Please don't let met be the only rock here once the playoffs come.

[Mild Sauce]

The firesale is on. I'd love to see them eat some of Soriano's contract if it means getting him out of here (up to $8 million per season), and get Zambrano's deal out of here a year early. The Cubs, as it is (assuming they don't pick up the option on Ramirez) will be shedding around $40 million this offseason, if they can shed that much it'll be closer to $60 million, and if they also trade guys like Marmol and Byrd, that can be another $12 million. With that kind of money they can really go nuts in free agency and with trades to put together something MUCH better than what they have now. I'm still hoping for Prince Fielder, at least 2 starters, and a couple of solid veterans. They're almost going to have to start over, but if they can do it with the right guys they can make the return to their 2008 form much quicker, and hopefully with guys that don't choke in the postseason.

[BullsBearsCubs]

Yu Darvish anyone?

[Mild Sauce]

That would've been nice, especially with how horrid that starting rotation was last year (as bad as it's been since 2006, which was as bad as it had been since the mid 90's).

[Mild Sauce]

As bad as they are, there's plenty of reason to look up right now for the Cubs.

They have 4 top 30 prospects in Baez, Bryant, Soler, and Almora.

After a slow start, Kris Bryant has been absolutely destroying every pitcher he's gone against in Boise and is likely to move to Kane County before too long.

Arismendy Alcantara has become a huge surprise this year and will likely be ready to play for the big league club by the end of next season.

They added a ton of pitching to their minor league system through the draft and the Garza trade.

Pierce Johnson has been pitching very well, and plenty of other pitching prospects are starting to step up.

By the end of 2015 most of the major prospects will likely be in the bigs.

They just had an amazing international prospect signing class to bring another wave of talent after the current group of prospects either makes it or breaks it.

Buttafuoco, Buttafuoco, Buttafuoco

Starlin Castro is actually putting up some of the best defensive numbers of his career and has, over the past 3-4 weeks actually been playing up to his old career averages.

Travis Wood has become a good part of the future


To keep it balanced, there's still no guarantee that any of those prospects ever even become decent major league players, so there's still a lot to be unsure about. However, the way Epstein has taken the minor league system from bottom five to top five in under 2 years and gotten it at least 2 deep at every position player spot with reasonable prospects.

[Kemba2MKG]

Junior Lake is a great story, I hope his bat heats back up.

[Mild Sauce]

It's a shame it hasn't. He's got a ton of physical skill, but he just can't make any contact. He's just missing a lot of the mental part of the game, which is too bad.